Taken for granted

Recently I was reminded how quickly life can change.

My brother was in a car accident. He was not injured thank god! No drinking was involved, he was on his way to school.  The other driver was injured. His accident has more to it that I am able to discuss, but it is going to be a long road ahead. Lots of  lessons learned.

My brother is a good kid. Scratch that. Great kid. Heart of gold. He is going back to school for medical assisting, all while working full time at a bank, holding a night shift job and watching his favorite (and only) nephew on Thursdays. He just put an offer in on a town home and has supported himself for three years now. He is great.  My brother and I share a very close bond. When I was sick he was at my bedside every day. He held and loved on Cara when I could not. He carried her casket to the hearse. He means a lot to me. Always has, always will. I get VERY defensive over him. My brother is gay. He and his partner Diego have been together 6 years. I LOVE Diego.

I think a lot of us take many things for grated in life, most of us know we do. It can all change so quickly. Your whole entire life can change upside down with the blink of an eye. Hugs your loved ones.

Hoppy Easter!

Today my Molly Bear came! For all of you that are BLM you will know what that entails. Very special and I have been waiting almost a year for this bear to arrive!

I cant believe its my son's second Easter!

Checking in!

Tomorrow marks one month of calorie counting. I count Monday- Friday. Saturday and Sunday I watch what I eat but do not count. Really I consider this a lifestyle change. Not a diet. When I first started this for my wedding I did it for almost two years, then I got pregnant with Cara and pasta and bread was all I could stomach.

So drumroll...I am down 4 lbs! My first goal was 10 lbs and I would be back to my pre-Carter weight. So only 6 more to go until I reach my first goal!

Remember people I am 5'1 6 lbs is a ton! I am happy to say I am back in my size 6 jeans all around! The feeling is a great feeling! Yes there are days where I would like to eat a whole pizza but I quickly remind myself how unhealthy that is. Not to mention if I do want to be pregnant again I need to be back down to my pre pregnancy weight, I worked my tail off to be healthy to conceive Carter...why wouldn't I do the same for baby #3. Plus that means lower blood pressure and cholesterol so all around its a win win!

I am still not on the work out bandwagon. I have been thinking about it, so I know that is a start. I used to go to the gym 5 days a week and have a personal trainer so not going to a gym is odd, but I know I can't. Not with work and Carter. I would have to work out at home. Do-able? Yes. Just need to get there!

I am going to make an appointment with my doctor to get off my zoloft. I know that it is for depression and anxiety however I soooo do not have depression...anxiety yes...depression no...so I need to decide if there is something else out there to take, or just come off of antidepressants all together. I depended on them at one point to just get me through the day, I would sit and count down the hours until I could pop another xanex, zoloft and or ambien. But I am really starting to think the worst of that is all over. I still feel anxious and sad and always will but I can quickly look at all the happy things I have in my life, my son, my husband, my dogs, my beautiful home, my job etc and "turn that frown upside down"

I will leave you with a few pictures of my rainbow!