I think that since I am one day away from being 6 weeks out from giving birth. I am Preeclampsia and HELLP free this pregnancy and post pardum! I had some labile pressures towards the end of my pregnancy, and I think had I gone another few weeks, PE could have reared its ugly head, but it did not! I am so grateful! It was no fun worrying about it all 8 months, but so worth all the worrying in the end of course! This all makes me a little excited that trying again is possible. A pregnancy without PE is possible! I think we will wait about a year and a half, but I would like to do it again! Carter is so amazing, and I do not mind the throw up, pee'd on life I now have...in fact I love it!!
I had to reschedule my 6 week check up for another week, but no major problems to report. Of course I am still a bit sore, but I can imagine that is normal!I have been nursing and pumping, although I am not a fan of nursing because Carter does not latch on for long and due to his NICU stay I think he takes to a bottle better. I could not be there in the NICU with him 24 hours a day for a week, so they had to supplement with formula, and I was not producing anything after he was born. Im still supplementing because I am not producing enough to keep up with what he eats, if my supply does not get better when I go back to work, I may be ending the pumping/nursing. At least I did it for the first 2 months if I do quit! That is the most important time!
I start back to work just on Saturday's tomorrow and go back my three days May 5. I miss my coworkers and my clients! I am excited to get back into a routine! My life is all about schedules and routines. Not near as bad as it was before I lost Cara. Losing her made me realize you just can't plan EVERYTHING about life.
Carter is doing great! Grew out of his newborn clothes :) Bittersweet! The older he gets the more I wonder what Cara would be doing, or what she would have done. Carter laughs in his sleep out of nowhere and I like to think Cara is in his dreams, teasing him or telling him a funny story of his Momma...lord knows there are plenty to tell! I was and still am quite the goof. Although lately I have to say my lack of sleep has made me grouchy and on edge, again I am sure that is normal!
Friday, April 15, 2011
Monday, April 11, 2011
Getting caught up!
Let me get everyone caught up!
Has it really been almost a year and a half? These last two years have aged me beyond words. I see wrinkles, grey hairs...ugh. Its all worth it of course...I guess...if you call losing a child somewhere in between worth it.
It almost feels like the everything was jumbled together up until my pregnancy with Carter. My pregnancy with him was no easy by any means, it was stressful, but in the end of course I would do it again. I did enjoy it as much as I could, but I think anyone who loses a child never really "enjoys" any part of pregnancy, unless its the part where the baby is born alive.
The past month has been full of adjustments of course. Going to school is still in the back of my mind, however financially with Carter's NICU stay and with a lot of unknowns in the financial department on my husband and I's behalf that will have to be put on hold.
Right now I am having a bit of a hard time with some things, my new body is an adjustment. All my size small, or 4 jeans do not fit. I literally had to get a new wardrobe...after all I am a stylist and going back to work next week! I have an additional 13 lbs to lose. Not easy when you are 5 foot. I was always a work out a holic, running, weights etc...now just finding the energy to wake up is hard enough. It is very hard on me mentally not being able to work out, and keep in mind I was basically pregnant for almost two years!! Another thing that bugs me is that I was on modified bed rest for over a month...all my muscles are gone! So even walking the mall puts me in pain. Sooo not good when you are an instant gratification kind of girl.
As for work, I am excited to go back. I am surrounded at home with people I 100% trust with Carter, including my husband. I never would have to leave him a list and he would never call to ask what to do! It is great! I would love to be a stay at home mom, aside from the financial reasons, I just mentally could not do it. I am a busy body, a people person. Plus I 100% LOVE doing hair!
As for Carter at his one month check up he was 8lbs 12oz. He is barely fitting into his newborn clothes anymore...sad! He gets cuter everyday. I cant describe to anyone how much he resembles his sister. His nose and chin kill me!! Many times when I look at him I immediately see and think of her.
During Carters first week home I was so scared for him or myself to go to sleep in fear of losing him. Hubby and I have sense purchased a bassinet type thing that goes in bed with us, attaches to our bed right in between us both! Hubs was not thrilled, as he is a big guy, but hey...piece of mind is always priceless.
On a funny note, Carter has on obsession with fans! Constantly staring at them and they do not even have to be moving!
Has it really been almost a year and a half? These last two years have aged me beyond words. I see wrinkles, grey hairs...ugh. Its all worth it of course...I guess...if you call losing a child somewhere in between worth it.
It almost feels like the everything was jumbled together up until my pregnancy with Carter. My pregnancy with him was no easy by any means, it was stressful, but in the end of course I would do it again. I did enjoy it as much as I could, but I think anyone who loses a child never really "enjoys" any part of pregnancy, unless its the part where the baby is born alive.
The past month has been full of adjustments of course. Going to school is still in the back of my mind, however financially with Carter's NICU stay and with a lot of unknowns in the financial department on my husband and I's behalf that will have to be put on hold.
Right now I am having a bit of a hard time with some things, my new body is an adjustment. All my size small, or 4 jeans do not fit. I literally had to get a new wardrobe...after all I am a stylist and going back to work next week! I have an additional 13 lbs to lose. Not easy when you are 5 foot. I was always a work out a holic, running, weights etc...now just finding the energy to wake up is hard enough. It is very hard on me mentally not being able to work out, and keep in mind I was basically pregnant for almost two years!! Another thing that bugs me is that I was on modified bed rest for over a month...all my muscles are gone! So even walking the mall puts me in pain. Sooo not good when you are an instant gratification kind of girl.
As for work, I am excited to go back. I am surrounded at home with people I 100% trust with Carter, including my husband. I never would have to leave him a list and he would never call to ask what to do! It is great! I would love to be a stay at home mom, aside from the financial reasons, I just mentally could not do it. I am a busy body, a people person. Plus I 100% LOVE doing hair!
As for Carter at his one month check up he was 8lbs 12oz. He is barely fitting into his newborn clothes anymore...sad! He gets cuter everyday. I cant describe to anyone how much he resembles his sister. His nose and chin kill me!! Many times when I look at him I immediately see and think of her.
During Carters first week home I was so scared for him or myself to go to sleep in fear of losing him. Hubby and I have sense purchased a bassinet type thing that goes in bed with us, attaches to our bed right in between us both! Hubs was not thrilled, as he is a big guy, but hey...piece of mind is always priceless.
On a funny note, Carter has on obsession with fans! Constantly staring at them and they do not even have to be moving!
Sunday, April 10, 2011
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