A final Goodbye

The past week I have spent grieving all over again. The day my friends mother passed away. I made it a point to be with her. I had to. I just could not sit back and watch that happen, and although I did not know her mother well, watching someone I love go through such a horrific thing at such a young age was hard. I have learned a lot about myself through this.

One...I will do anything for the ones I love. (Like I did not already know that)

Two...When you love someone their hurt becomes your hurt.

Three...I am not as strong as I think or thought I was.

Those are the three main things. Number 3 got me the most. I have only attended 4 funerals in my life. One being my daughters, and I just do not deal well. I cry the second I walk in the door. I never experienced a death in the family, until my daughter and the second was my grandmother. So its hard. I also get flashbacks of my daughters funeral. Even walking in her mothers funeral I cried when I locked eyes with my friend, even though she did not. Im an emotional wreck when it comes to death.

Its hard to hear the words "The worst is over" spoken to my friend. Unfortunately, its not. It has yet to begin. I guess if you have never experienced a death of a loved one such as a sibling, mother or father or child, its hard to comprehend that the hardest days are two months later, driving in your car and it hits you out of nowhere. Though I would never ever compare anyone's loss or grief to another. I do know that the hardest days are yet to come.

I ache for her and only hope that my friendship and support will be a comfort to her.

I can say that as life goes on I grow closer and closer to the people around me. I learn who are my real life friends. I learn that a simple fight or argument will never determine the end of a friendship. Life is too short. Love the ones that are close to you. Be there for everyone you can. Treat others they way you want to be treated.