Carter is the love of my life. We all knew that. I also LOVE being a hair stylist, so that leaves me torn. Carter has never been watched by anyone who was not family. I work three days a week and one day my brother comes to the house, and the other day my Aunt watches him and Saturday my hubby is home!
That is all about to change. My Aunt who we love dearly and can't thank enough for the past 8 months of watching Carter, will not be able to watch him anymore. My parents both work full time, and my brother is going for a medical assistant degree (awesome!) I WILL NOT put my child in daycare. It is a personal peference and I do know plenty of mothers who have to do daycare, they do not have a choice, and they are GREAT mothers. Daycare is just not for me. So what to do? How do people do it? Financially it practically evens out if Im working three days a week and were to pay someone to watch my child two days a week. BUT I love what I do. I love who I work for and can't imagine not working. For now Hubby and I have arranged some things, so he can be home with him on wednesday, but that means he has to work Saturday. So we both work Saturdays now. My parents will have him for the time being, but as they both work full time, it is like an extra days of work for them.
I know that both my husband and I working Saturdays will not last forever, especially as Carter gets older and has baseball, soccer etc. I just do not know how people financially do it!!! For now we have worked things out for the two days a week I need child care. My mom for the time being is out of a job, but when she goes back, that will all change again, and LORD do I hate change!I have to remind myself that I need to do what is best for my family, and that this will change again when I add a sibling and again when he goes off to pre school. It saddens me that one day I know I will only be able to work two days, even though I love working three. I think that will be in the plan when the next child comes. I dont think I have another option. I hate not having options.
We will be meeting with our financial adviser soon to see where we can cut expenses. Which is interesting when we don't really have any...
The mere thought of having a stranger watch my child makes me sick to my stomach. Maybe it is different because I experienced loss? Maybe my fears are heightened?
Then there is that. The next child. I do not want Carter to be an only child. It sucks because he isnt, but she isnt here with us. So thats totally unfair if you ask me. But hey life isnt fair. I need to just get through this. This too shall pass.
- *Laura Angel
- Illinois, United States
- I'm a mother to a beautiful angel in heaven, as well as our Earth baby Carter. My life has been filled with nothing but happiness and laughter, however I also know ultimate sadness. I continue to try to live my life to the fullest, and enjoy making people laugh along the way. You never know when your life will change forever. Mine changed November 16, 2009, when we learned our daughters heart was no longer beating. Cara was born November 17th 2009. She was 2 lbs 11oz 16 in. Preeclampsia and HELLP syndrome took her from us. I now strive to help promote Preeclampsia and HELLP Syndrome awareness. I also strive to help others who have lost a child. Its something no one can prepare you for, Its something that will forever be with you. We are happy to announce that our son Carter Allen was born March 5 2011 at 36 weeks 4 days weighing 7lbs 7oz. Carter brings such happiness and hope to our lives.
- TTC- Try to conceive
- L&D- Labor & Delivery
- BP- Blood Pressure
- Rainbow- a baby after a loss
- MFM- Maternal Fetal Medicine
- PE- Preeclampsia
- BLM- Baby Loss Mommy
9 comments:
I'm not fond of daycares but I found a great sitter who does a wonderful job. She does crafts w/ my girls and has girls of her own for mine to play w/. Have you considered that?
Awe sweet Laura, I never knew you felt this way but YOU TOOK THE WORDS RIGHT OUT OF MY MOUTH! I am FUH-FREAKING OUT. I do NOT want to put Sadie in daydare. Yes there are other kids more interaction but the news and how sick they get and this and that PLUS I worked in one and I know stuff I just would not want her in one, I would rather her be one on one but I dont htink I can afford that when it comes time. Maybe I can who knows. But yes the fact of a stranger watching my little girl freaks me the F out! Exucse my mouth t just scares me and I think possibly because of the loss I (we) have had. :( I hate it. But Thew stuff where idiotic childcare workers leave children in the car, (yet I wouldnt let them take her anywhere) just freaks me out and makes me Say HOLD UP to all that. So I will have to figure out in a few couple of months where I will put her when I get a job.
UNtil then, my mom and my dad and sister watch her (sister will when I start clinicals on MONDAY eeks) so I am okay I think about that. Thats on my worry list what to do when that time comes and it will be here! I wish i had the luxery of being a stay at home mom yet I do need that time away sometimes. I am glad you love being a stylist! You are a great one I am sure!
BTW if I lived up there and could, I would SO watch little Carter man!!! ;)
OH!! and CONGRATS TO YOUR BROTHER ON GOING FOR MEDICAL ASSISTING!!!!! :) yay to us m'as!! hehe
I understand your situation and I would hope I never have to pay anyone to watch my own child. I watch two children including my own and absolutely LOVE it! I love that my child has someone to play with everyday and is learning more than he should at his level. I have so much fun bringing crafts and getting the kids to work as a team. The more families I meet I tell them you have to find the right person for your family. Good luck in your journey :)
Laura..I totally hear you sister!!! Austin and I could not financially live with out me working, mostly because of my student loans. But I too refuse for Elia to be at a daycare that I don't know the people, or it isn't family. We are all over the place too, different family members two days a week and a really close friend who happens to be a nurse(score) watches her the three days in the middle of the week. This works now, but when the next baby comes we'll be in big trouble too. I already said I have to work part time and stay home during the day. Hopefully you can figure something out that makes you and Kyle feel comfortable with. Hang in there.
I was lucky enough to be able to stay home for 7 wonderful months with my little boy, but when I had to go back to work I was a wreck. Luckily my husband was friends with a girl who runs a small in home daycare just a couple of blocks from us, I knew her, but I didn't really *know* her. It was scary leaving him there for so long with a practical stranger but it ended up working out very well. He loves his Jessie and gets excited to go there and she treats him like her own child. We got lucky because it was someone my husband knew and trusted (even if I really didn't) because if I had had to leave him in a center or something along those lines I think I would have broken down. It sounds like you have things figured out for the time being, and that's great. Good luck!
At first I didn't want to go back to work, which definitely was influenced from losing Liam, but now I feel like it really is my husband and I's best option. My girl is do in May and we have already been discussing our options. We don't have any family close to help and I refuse to do daycare, both because it is overly expensive and I have heard too many bad stories. An option we are looking into, although I think it'll be hard to want to trust anyone is, is try and find a grandma or another stay at home mom that could watch my daughter, maybe even at my house. Guessing it would be cheaper and would assume my baby would get good attention and care that way. PLus I would only be working 3 days a week also.
Maybe that is something you guys could look into, just a thought.
Tough choices! Would you ever be able to style from your home?
Is there any nanny agencies you can look into? Im not too sure of the cost of a nanny? Are there any older nanas around your neighbourhood who may be keen to have him? Or other mums at home that could care for him while you work part time?
Post a Comment