Helpless

I feel helpless lately. One of my best friend's lost her mother last Christmas. Her father passed a few years prior. To lose your mother on her birthday a day after Christmas...heart wrenching, heartbreaking and unthinkable.

I feel for her in every way possible. I just feel so helpless. I want to fix her, to make her happy. Of course I invited her to spend Christmas with my family and told her I would come over any chance she needed. Sometimes...you just need to be alone. You need to hate the world and hate life alone. Being around people may not help.

The loss of my daughter and the loss of her mother has brought us even closer and while each loss is different, the heartache is the same. I know to just listen and offer my advice IF asked. I know to never compare and to never tell her to move on and to always always know she will forever be changed and forever be sad. Nothing will replace her mother. Nothing will make her feel better. I know that is the part she has to figure out on her own. It is super hard to see her go through this. I know that no matter if she is sad and hates life for two years or two hundred. I will be here. I will never tell her she has changed, because when you go through loss you DO change and the last thing you need is someone to tell you what you already dread...what you already know. You need someone to be there. That is all. I LOVE LOVE LOVE Christmas. She hates it. I don't blame her. I will LOVE LOVE LOVE it on my own time, but when I am around her I will hate it right along side of her and even put up Halloween decorations and listen to Halloween music if that is what makes her feel better.

I understand loss. I wish I didn't. I know all I can do is be there with a listening ear and an open mind and thats all I can do.