3 is a crowd?

So I have been thinking about this since Charlie grew his wings... (Our chihuahua)

I have always wanted to rescue a dog. Gia our Pit Bull is from a breeder and Arthur is from Petland because the day after Charlie died I could not bare it. I was 100% devastated and needed instant gratification. In a way I am mad at myself. I never wanted to purchase another puppy from a pet store (Thats where Charles was from) But then again ALL DOGS need homes. Arthur is so fantastic! He really is and I am glad I found him. Plus he was born exactly 1 week after Cara on 11/24/09 so I think that did me in right there.

HOWEVER I have ALWAYS  wanted 3 dogs. If you know me you know my love for animals especially dogs is unconditional. Ever since I was little my love for animals was insane! I volunteered at the Humane Society  for a year, as well as worked at a Vet. My dogs are always spoiled rotten and as most of you know get the best medical attention as well as human interaction attention. My life would never ever be complete without my furry friends.

Ok so my issue is I want to rescue a dog. Badly. I just don't feel complete without it. I know I am going to be working on having a child within the next 6 months, but would 3 be so bad? (It would be a small dog, as right now in life Gia is enough to handle) Some people say...now way you wont be able to handle it...My argument is that I handled the death of my daughter and 1 week later major back surgery for my Charlie that left him paralyzed for 2 months, and then handled the death of him. Dogs make me soo incredibly happy and not to mention im gonna need some companionship for I am guessing I will need bed rest with my next pregnancy sometime!

Thoughts?

Tee Shirts are in

The influential people in my life

I feel compelled to write this entry. Many of you have told me time and time again how strong I am. Well let me show you the people in my life who have helped me become the person I am today. I love EVERYONE in my life...however I cant blog about every family member (I have a huggge family...Im the eldest of 15 cousins...ONE ONE SIDE, and my husband had 7 brothers and sisters) But I want to touch on the people that have make a major impact on my life.

Mom~

My mom is my best friend. I can tell her anything. We have so much fun when we are together. I am always so proud to tell people that she is my mother when 99% of the time people think she is my sister. She is beautiful and outgoing and always a blast to be around. My Mom has always been so passionate about her job and what she does and that is where I get my passion for my job and my job to help others in life. My mom is a giver. She will give anything to anyone, especially her children. I know that she would do anything for me at any given moment. We share something very special. My mother has Preeclampsia and I was born on her birthday after 36 hours of labor. So we share our birthday together. I can't imagine my life without my mother in it ever. She is an inspiration and is one of the strongest women I know. She holds her own in a very fast paced business world filled with TONS of hours and tons of people to manage, but she does it and always has. My mom also stayed every single night with me in the hospital. EVERY one. Never left me along. Frankly I was too scared to be alone, so I am forever thankful for that. She took great care of me at the hospital and when I came home. Laundry, cleaning, dishes, helping me shower. You name it.  I love you Mom, love your Messy.

Dad~

Growing up I was always Daddy's Little Girl. Some things never change. When I was little I was 100% positive I had the coolest dad around. I still think that. My dad has a passion for life that I only wish every person could have. My dad never gives up on anyone, not me, my brother, his mother (who is very ill) or his granddaughter. If Cara was alive she would be one lucky little girl, the love he shared and shares for her is incredible. My Dad was always there for me, taking me to school, helping me paint, helping with yard work...you name it he was there. I am so lucky to have him as my father.  Love your Nag.

Mom & Dad

Just a quick blurb. My parents met when they were in highschool and have been married for 30 years. Their love and devotion for each other is constant.


Paul~

My brother. One of my best friends. I can talk to my brother about ANYTHING. Always have, always will. We were always partners in crime! Paul is another person who was always at the hospital with me when I was "sick." I remember one day he just sat there all day, when I was just lying there with no lights on...no tv...no nothing...all day. He always is there when I need him and he is a very strong individual, with a strong personality. (Tends to be typical in my family ha!) My brother is also the God Father of my daughter, he loves her more than she will ever know. Love ya Bro, Worwa

Kyle~

Well what can I say? This man has patience of a saint. I have known Kyle since 2002, and we have been married since 2008. He is the other half to my puzzle.  He is a very calm, cool and collected guy. He is always willing to help anyone, never to expect anything in return . Kyle cooks, cleans and helps me with anything I would ever ask. Kyle is one of 8, and he is the oldest. His parents love for another is inspiring. Kyle's parents also lost a child. Ryan Kyles younger brother. Ryan was 9 months old when he passed away. Unknown causes. So sad, and so sad they have to watch their son go through that as well. Must have been so hard. Kyle parent's were there for my delivery and were there to support Kyle while I was so sick. Kyle also stayed with me every night in the hospital and barely left my side. He fed me, and sat there for a week straight in my room with me. One night (after I delivered Cara) I was soo scared to sleep. He got in the hospital bed with me (and my cords, iv's and blood pressure cuff).  Kyle was the best father to our little girl Cara in the short time he was with her. Holding her every moment he could. Love you always :)

Grammy & Pappy

My Pappy & Grammy share something with me in common. Their last name is Angel...my middle name is Angel :) They are both very very special people to me that I hold deep within my heart. As a little girl, I LOVED spending time of them, and loved to show off both of them to all my friends. After all I did have the BEST grandparents around. When I was little every year until about 2003 Christmas Eve was ALWAYS held at Grammy & Pappy's with the traditional Italian feast. (Pappy grew up in a small town in Italy) Grammy and Pappy have been married 56 years. Their love for each other is like straight from a movie. My Pappy was in the Korean War where he was shot through the mouth, back and leg. When he was fighting in the war, he was shot in the chest...in the chest pocket he had a holy bible...the bullet stopped on the last page. He still has the bible with the bullet in it and I have seen it for myself. My sweet daughter was buried in my Grammy's plot. That had to be hard for them to decide since they still are here with us. I will forever know that one day Cara will be safe and sound with her Great Grammy :) Love you both your Darling.

Cardiologist appointment

Let me start off by saying the hospital that all my new doctors are at is HUGGGE its like a maze. So I arrived to my appointment and I was not as anxious as I thought I would be. Time heals *most* wounds hey? So of course I take a wrong turn and end up walking through the actually hospital part like where they admit patients  and where there are machines and beeping noises all over the place. You have to be kidding me. I could feel my heart start to race. Then I quickly just reminded myself that Im JUST here for a doctors appointment...not to be admitted. (Although every time I go to the doctors I have a lingering fear that they will find something crazy wrong with me and I will be admitted)

So as I continued to walk...I see this women and a man standing outside a room and I over hear the women as I walked past say "They could not find the baby's heartbeat" YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING RIGHT?...Keep walkin sista.

I finally made it to my appointment 20 minutes early. I know if I am early to appointments that I wont have anymore needed anxiety. Finally the nurse called me back and took my vitals. 128 lbs. (1 LB away from pre pregnancy weight) and BP 120/80...WHICH is high for me. BUUUT whenever im at the doctors its typically higher. Mine this morning was 100/68 just for an example. They of course performed an EKG (Electro Cardiogram) on me right then and there...normal. (That would be my 4th one of my life and all 4 in the past 2 years!)  The EKG works by detecting and amplifying the tiny electrical changes on the skin during each heart beat.It also records cardiac activity of your heart.

So the doctor came in and he was great. He explained to me that yes my cholesterol is high and due to my family history on both sides of heart disease/strokes etc AND due to having such elevated Blood Pressures with my preeclampsia...that I am to have an 2D Echo Cardiogram (which is an ultrasound of the heart to see how well its working from within) and a Stress Test (which is where I will run on a tread mill and have my blood pressure taken and then pictures of my heart taken as well) This test will comfirm if I have any heart disease.

Im totally nervous about having these tests done but I know they are to my benefit. Im so worried that my anxiety will effect the results of the test?! I have that done in about 2 weeks, and go for results a week later.

Now most my questions I had for the Doctor (how can I measure if I have high cardiac output?, Should I be taking cholesterol meds while pregnant?  Elasticity of artery walls...etc) those will be answered after he can view my results from my test and I have an appointment May 5th for that. I just wish it was mid May because  then I would know everything about whats going on! I do have to have some more extensive blood work done for my cholesterol, I will do that next week.

Funny thing about any appointments I make...its sort of like an all day thing. For example today my apt was at 1 (the hospital is about 45 min away without traffic and I like to be early) I left at 11:30 and got home at 2:30...most the time my doctor appointments take about an hour or more because there is just so much crap always going on! UGH! Trust me I will be happy when I get the clean bill of health and will be able to TTC then I wont have any doc appointments until I conceive...then I go down a whole new path.