Baptism

I am so excited! My babies baptism is next Sunday! Of course it is going to be a huge celebration. It is at a big Italian restaurant with lots of food and drinks! I have had oodles of fun planning it and I can't wait to see the cake we have made for him! We have a total of 58 people coming! My husband and I have huge families what can I say? We are excited to share his special day with all of the very important people close to us!

Back and Forth

I have been going back and forth about making this blog private for many reasons. I have over 200 followers from all over the world. Poland, Japan, etc. After my last post, I got an overwhelming positive response from a lot of you! I have decided I will keep it a public blog. My original intention of this blog was to keep my daughters memory alive. This blog is a way for others who have lost children to know what this journey is like and know that it gets better.

However, I know for some people this blog is a way to see into my life and to see what I am doing etc. (I know who looks at this blog, how many times and where your from weather you think you keep it private or not.)  I hope that if you are a BLM you know that you are welcome here every second of the day! I also hope that if your just looking for a glimpse of my life to be nosy, know that I appreciate knowing how great my life must be!

Private

Due to some changes in my life and some changes that are about to happen in the next few months I will be making this blog private.

Please email me your name and email and blog address if you have one L412ANGEL AT AOL

Much love!

Fast Forward

Before I lost Cara all I did was plan. Weeks and months in advance...what I was doing, what time, with who etc. After I lost her that all came to a halt as I realized it simply is not important. I had all these plans the weeks after her death before she died. Never would I have thought I would have been penciling in funeral. I  focused on today and tomorrow, and that was about it. My life was so simplified. So really making plans weeks and months in advance is so useless.

However I find myself slowly reverting back. Getting overwhelmed with scheduling, my anxiety kicks in. "What time am I going to the gym?" "What time should I start dinner?" "What time is my show on?" "What day should I plan to get my nails done?" I try to do 10 million things at once sometimes, or I want to plan out the whole month of July, so I know what I am doing and with who. I am realizing again it is just not important to "plan." The important thing is that the important things I need to do always end up getting done. The important people I need to see and need in my life will always be there no matter what. So why try to do everything?

Right now in my life I am over the moon, thrilled and in love of course with my son. Making him happy and my family happy is what matters most. So day by day it is again.