November 17th.
It always comes. I try to ignore it as best as I can. Nothing I can do to change anything about that cold rainy day. Tomorrow November 16 is the day I found out Cara's heart was no longer beating, 3 years ago.
People have not forgotten, that I know. I even had a old friend contact me, who I never though would. Very touching.
I just try to live the day as is. I have so much going on in my life, as well as so much to be thankful for. Its a constant pull between being sad she is gone, and never really was here and being elated because my son is my everything.
I dont know why but for the first time in three years I just realized I lost my daughter the week before thanksgiving, and she was buried the week of. Not sure why it took me so long to realize how close together that all falls.
During this time I am trying to be joyus, it is a holiday season and my (almost) two year old knows when his Mommy is sad.
I try to relish in the love of my friends and family who surround me daily. Who love me, my husband and my son.
Thursday, November 15, 2012
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2 comments:
I'm with you. I appreciate your strength and ability to both allow your heart to feel for cara and also be brave for carter. hugs mama-
Felicia
Lots of hugs** thinking of you and Cara and your family as well. I am glad there were those who reached out to remember her with you. I am sorry my wishes come a little late. <3
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