Dear Gia

Here we go again. SO a little backround on my Gia. We "rescued" her from a not so great home. Clearly she is as cute as pie. Well when Gia was about 6 months old all hell broke loose. We soon learned she COULD NOT be confined. We purchased  a heavy duty metal crate, she broke out, losing 6 of her teeth and needing medical attention. It did not stop there. We lost a couch...a door frame...the list goes on. Now she is the WORLDS sweetest dog. She would never harm a fly.

This is what I came home to today...

Tears...lots of tears. She has not behaved this way in over a year. I do not know what sparked this. Arthur always is in our room with the door shut because Miss. Gia likes to let him out to play (yes she can open the door) Arthur has been in our bedroom for about 6 months with no problem...today obviously Gia had a problem. Who knows what it was. I was simply in tears when I came home. Our house in on the market and we will be moving, I do not know how we can handle this anymore.

Now we have also tried EVERYTHING. Medication, doggie daycare, training, you name it...nothing works for her. We do not know what makes her like this, and why it happens so sporadically. I can't fathom putting her down. She is such a lover. I can't fathom giving her up, but if we found a home good enough, we would.

Here is where all of you come into play. Does anyone know of any rescue organizations, or anything? Any suggestions or input would be fantastic.

Oh I want to edit this to add that Gia has free roam of our house.

Also wanted to add that every day I wish I would have had a second surgery on Charlie to fix him. I already spent well over 6 thousand dollars...I should have just done more to help him. I regret every day taking the easy way out and letting him go. It was the hardest thing I ever did in my life. I do not want to do that with Gia...just give her away :(

Answer to AFP test question

Quickly for those of you who do not know. AFP testing can detect spinal bifidia, it can also indicate that you MAY be at risk for a premature baby and or preeclampsia. Now the key word there is MAY. There are also a lot of false positives and false negatives. IF we were to do the test and it showed a high result meaning I could POSSIBLY get Preeclampsia again...I will freak out for the remainder of my pregnancy. So I do not even want to chance that. My doctor is confident that we will be watching me so closely with Ultrasounds every 3 yo 4 weeks that the second something should arise we will catch it anyhow. Plus I already know I have a high chance of getting PE again...so I am very prepared to get it and even more prepared not to!

10 weeks 4 days. OB Appointment

Wow. Where do I even start. I am so overwhelmed and stressed today.

So I arrive at my doctors appointment. The nurse takes me back and with a Doppler tried to find the heartbeat. Silence. No big deal to me...I know she has not been looking that long. She leaves the room telling me Im going to get another Doppler. Silence. IMMEDIATELY in my head I go into loss mode. I make plans to call off work tomorrow, and to be heartbroken yet again. So crazy how my brain was just that prepared for another loss. UGH. The nurse says "Its still so early, dont worry I am going to have the doctor come in and try." You know one thing I hate is sugar coating. I have been pregnant before, I have experienced a loss do NOT tell me I am early. I am almost 11 weeks. Way far enough along to hear a heartbeat, I do not have stupid written across my forehead. My doctor comes in and finds my heartbeat which was in the 120's since I was in panic attack mode. Then music to my ears...the babys heartbeat. Very soft. I was happy but not convinced. I quickly asked for a ultrasound and he said absolutely. (love him even more!)

On the ultrasound we saw the baby. Having a fiesta in my belly. Bouncing up and down like you would not believe. Sooo cute! I was so relieved!

So when we went back into the room to discuss, we decided that at 20 weeks I will be cutting my hours at work. For the shear fact I am on my feet and it will be holiday season...busy busy. So I have a "doctors orders" note for that.

We also decided against any fetal testing. He said to me "If something was wrong...would you terminate?" I said absolutely not...so no quad test or anything along those lines. Plus who wants a false positive?

I asked this doctor Doctor L if he would be my doctor strictly. There are seven doctors in this practice and I was supposed to see all of them. Not gonna happen. I thought I would be ok with that. I am not. I really like Dr. L. He gets me and knows that my mental well being is what matters most! He told me how sorry he was for what happened to me last time. I lost it. I started to cry. (I do not cry easily) I told him how badly I wish I had doctors that had just listened to my concerns and took me seriously last time. Cara was not supposed to die. My doctors let me be sick, and let my baby slowly pass away. Simple blood tests and urine tests would have quickly told them I had Severe Preeclampsia. Unfortunately, I did not get the care that I have this time. That just made me so mad, seeing  the care I had now (hour and a half appointments) and last time( 5 minute appointments)


Another thing is I will be induced at 36- 37 weeks. Both MFM and OB agree yay! That puts me at end of Feb! Yay!

So nonetheless ended up being a good day :)

Jinx & a Bucket List

I dont want to 'JINX' myself...buuut I will go ahead and say it. I am only 10 weeks 2 days and the past two day been feeling a bit better. I am noticing that it is not ALL bad days now. I get some good (not full days) but possibly hours in there. Hey...ill take it. I have realized that with this pregnancy every time I eat something I normally dont eat (Chinese, mexican) I get sick. I had mexican once...puked for 2 days...sick. Chinese....sick immediately after and it was not pregnancy related sick...if you know what I mean...ewwwww. (whatever I have seen and been through it all...nothing grosses me out anymore, try not showering or brushing your teeth, and being on a catheter aannnnddd laying in a hospital bed for a week) With Care Bare I was sick until about 14 weeks. So fingers crossed this time its not that long!


My doc apt is friday! I have lots of questions and I will be updating all of you with answers to the questions that I have :)

I dont know if I blogged about this...buuut I have always wanted to be a part of the Preeclampsia Forums, now I am. I am so excited. I hope someday to be more than what I am now...but I am going to be helping out with the Promise Walk website stuff since I lovvve blogging and I am on the computer about 25 hours out of the day. This is my welcome from one of the coordinators, it makes me smile!

Laura is a hair stylist and I am not sure she needs an introduction because she is very well known in the Foundation, speaking out about her experiences with preeclampsia and how they have changed her life.  While Laura's career choice has nothing to do with her position on the team, (unless you need a cut in color while in IL!) her desire, knowledge, and drive to inform others about preeclampsia has become a second, unofficial career.    I am very excited to have them both on board with us for the 2011 walk season.   Welcome Ladies!    


I seriously have so many things I want to do on my bucket list. While so many people have jumping out of planes and going to hawaii...fortunately for me I hate plane rides and heights so none of the crap is in my future. I want to go to school for a OB nurse. I want to just be the person who takes your BP and listens to your concerns for the doctor. I am confident that I can help women. I can make that differences. Not to be rude but I really feel nurses are so amazing. I mean doctors can be great but nurses really care. Thats my opinion anyway.

And I wanna help animals

And I wanna be on TV living through my daughters story and promoting Preeclampsia awareness, because really so many people (cough...doctors...cough) are just plain dumb and say dumb things "Well your young and healthy" "Well preeclampsia does not happen that soon..." blah blah blah....I wasnt...and it does.

I wanna be a Mom

And I wanna take a wine and cooking class

And I wanna speak somewhere about Preeclampsia Awareness

Wow where am I gonna find all the time!