Thoughts of Cara have been filling my brain lately. It is almost constant. Of course not happy thoughts, and not sad ones either, just thoughts of her. I am so happy Carter is here in my arms. I guess I just still have no closure on what happened to Cara...what happened to me. Soon. Soon.
I find myself feeling a bit anxious from time to time. No idea what about. I am back in a routine, Work, Gym, Carter...thats my life. My poor husband fits in there somewhere, but right now we are focusing on loving our son, so many people say we need time together. I get that, trust me I do. What people do not realize is that we spent the past year and a half together, and alot of that time was spent sharing tears together, planning a memorial, walking for March of Dimes and Preeclampsia and raising money. We spent lots of quality time together that many couples never spend. Were good. So again no idea where the anxiety really comes into play, im thinking maybe just lack of sleep?
Another thing that I noticed is that I get so verrrrry easily annoyed...especially when people point out that I am always on facebook, or online or post too many pictures. Just a kind reminder I lost a child, so Carter is like gold, diamonds, the lottery, world peace rolled all in one, that and I have BLMs all over the world that love to see his pictures and family all over the US that love to watch him grow! If its an issue, I apologize but my son is w along awaited prized possession....sigh...the joys of being female right? All these emotions. That and there does just not seem to be enough time in the day!
Carter is now two months, we see more smiles, more good moods and more sleep! Hallelujah.
