Cheer up Charlie

Charlie. Ohhh my sweet Charlie. Its funny how my emotions come from nowhere and hit me like a mack truck. Ugh. Lame. I am in the process of moving things into my new home and I found all of Charlie's pills from when he had his surgery.

REEEWIND. (Just a little information on who Charlie is. Charlie was my very first dog. He was a very very special dog to me in many ways. No one will ever take his place. One week after Cara passed, Charlie slipped a disk in his back and was paralyzed from the waist down, he needed a very expensive emergency surgery...I wanted to do everything in my power from losing anyone or anything else close to me. We did whatever it took to keep my Charlie alive)

As I have blogged about in the past Charlie's surgery and partial recovery was a healing aid for me. It gave me something to do and to look forward to. It gave my life purpose and that purpose was to help that little dog live.

Back to the pills. I found them and the flash backs began. I woke up every morning every to make sure Charlie got his pills, he literally had over 10 pills a day at different times and needed certain therapy, and help going to the bathroom and moving since he had a major spinal surgery. I held him all day every day. Anything he needed, I was there.

3 months and weeks of therapy later, Charlie lost his battle, and I yet again lost another part of my heart. Seeing those pills were hard. It was a reminder of yet again something I loved being taken from me. I threw them out. That was hard too.

I want to think that since I am coming up on the anniversary of Cara's death and the situations surrounding, that is why I am having all these flash backs. Fall in general is a reminder of her. A reminder of the loss that surrounded me.

It all begins

So my "Home makeover" has begun! The painters have started! We are having the whole home painted! We picked out soft brown, grey colors "greige" as I have learned it is nicknamed! Purples, deep greys and blues! I am super excited as this is very different decor that I had in my town home, which was mainly neutral. I am taking things very slowly, I am the MOST impatient person EVER. However I know that this needs to be a process!

We had stripped all doors and fixtures of any gold that was in the home and replaced with brushed nickle. We replaced our kitchen faucet with a super neat one!

We purchased a super nice dining table set and actually opted for a amish made kitchen table, that way we know it is real wood and will last!

I have had my eye on this desk for years. Seriously. Annndn tonight the purchase has been made! WOOO HOO!

I am getting suuuper into home decorating and thanks to Molly (who I actually know in real life) who came over today and we put our juicy brains together she helped out a ton! I am so excited to share with you before and after, the next few months to come. We hope for everything to be done by Christmas!

BLM Meeting!

Most if not all of you know Ashley momma to Angel Nolan and Rainbow CC over at Ruby Baby

Ashley and her family live in Florida. We met each other online through the Preeclampsia forums when I lost Cara and was frantically searching for someone...anyone who could connect on my level. That was back in 2009. Ashley made a trip to Illinois just so I could do her hair! (I wish) She actually was in town for a highschool reunion and I actually DID do her hair, and met CC and her hubby Chris. I wish she lived closer. I bet we would be close friends. Its ok though, we can remain close from afar!

 

I also met another BLM Carrie. Carrie is momma to her angel Cara who was born alive at 20 weeks to low fluid, and passed away shortly after birth. I explain how we met here. Just TRY to wrap your mind around this one! Turns out she lives not even an hour from me, and after almost two years she also came to see me to get her hair done. She is so amazing and I love her as well!

One of the girls I worked with asked how I could just go to lunch or sit down and chat with these people like I have known then for years. Before I lost Cara if you told me I would be going to lunch and spending the day with someone I never met I would laugh at you. Now its like second nature. I crave these people. They know me like no one else does. Not even my family. This is going to be oh so cliche, but it seriously is like I have known many of my BLMs for years. I treat them all like I know them for real in real life! I am so happy to have met Carrie and Ashley.

Not too long ago I had a falling out with a former friend. Some may know. I did a few "angry" blogs about it etc, (thats how I get my emotions out) but as I am meeting all these new people.I am realizing that sometimes you just need a change in life.  I love this quote.

"At some of the darkest moments in my life, some people I thought of as friends deserted me-some because they cared about me and it hurt them to see me in pain; others because I reminded them of their own vulnerability, and that was more than they could handle. BUT real friends overcame their discomfort and came to sit with me. If they had not words to make me feel better, they sat in silence and I loved them for it.

 

Long time no post?

So seriously I have no blogged in a while! Out of all the days I chose today (in true Laura fashion) the day I close on my home! Yup today is the day! WOO HOO! We do not however move in until October 1 as we are doing a master bath remodel and having the inside painted. I can't wait to share many projects with you all as we update our home! I can't wait to start designing and decorating!

As you all know I purchased my first new car, well it was so not a good experience. Rearguards if I am young, don't seem to know what I am doing I should still be treated the same as anyone else buying a car. It is possible I am being too picky...HOWEVER I am in the service industry and I do my best always to make clients happy. In any situation. To add to my less than "good" experience, I took my car in to have the interior and exterior package completed. I left Carters car seat base securely attached. When I picked up the car the base was still attached. Of course I assumed all was fine. When I got home I decided Carter and I were going to run some errands, not even 5 minutes into my ride I made a turn and Carters whole seat and base toppled over on top of him. I came to a screeching halt in the middle of a busy road and attended to a scared but than GOD not hurt Carter man. I was HORRIFIED to find out that the car seat base was not installed back in my vehicle correctly. Seriously?! If they did not know how why was I not advised? Something serious could have happened to my son. UGH! I am in contact with the manager about this situation as I would NEVER want any other parent to experience this. If your going to tamper with a car seat TELL THE OWNER OF T HE VEHICLE SO THEY CAN MAKE SURE IT IS SECURELY PROPERLY INSTALLED.....never a dull moment I swear.

Carter on the other hand is great! He is 18.5 lbs and 26.5 inches. 65 percentile! He has two bottom teeth and his top one is poking through! He is growing up so fast!

On a not so fantastic note, I have been experiencing some minor flashbacks of being sick with Cara. Really? Come on its been almost two years! Maybe that's why? Its coming up on the two year mark? Its odd because its been a while since I was fearful about what happened to me and her. It is mainly at night when I am trying to fall asleep. There are some days I am still in disbelief about what happened to me, to her. Ugh, this is what I will deal with forever, it never gets easier. I need to visit her again, and take Carter with.