Cheer up Charlie

Charlie. Ohhh my sweet Charlie. Its funny how my emotions come from nowhere and hit me like a mack truck. Ugh. Lame. I am in the process of moving things into my new home and I found all of Charlie's pills from when he had his surgery.

REEEWIND. (Just a little information on who Charlie is. Charlie was my very first dog. He was a very very special dog to me in many ways. No one will ever take his place. One week after Cara passed, Charlie slipped a disk in his back and was paralyzed from the waist down, he needed a very expensive emergency surgery...I wanted to do everything in my power from losing anyone or anything else close to me. We did whatever it took to keep my Charlie alive)

As I have blogged about in the past Charlie's surgery and partial recovery was a healing aid for me. It gave me something to do and to look forward to. It gave my life purpose and that purpose was to help that little dog live.

Back to the pills. I found them and the flash backs began. I woke up every morning every to make sure Charlie got his pills, he literally had over 10 pills a day at different times and needed certain therapy, and help going to the bathroom and moving since he had a major spinal surgery. I held him all day every day. Anything he needed, I was there.

3 months and weeks of therapy later, Charlie lost his battle, and I yet again lost another part of my heart. Seeing those pills were hard. It was a reminder of yet again something I loved being taken from me. I threw them out. That was hard too.

I want to think that since I am coming up on the anniversary of Cara's death and the situations surrounding, that is why I am having all these flash backs. Fall in general is a reminder of her. A reminder of the loss that surrounded me.