Last night I was at a wedding...(Congrats Kalyn and Matt...Kalyn is a long time friend of 21 years)
and there was a 9 month old baby girl that crawled up to my husband and was of course in awe of him (just like how all babies seem to be) it made me really crave to have a baby girl. What if it's not a girl? What if my chance at a girl was taken away? How will I ever cope?
Its hard to think of those things as we all know that nothing in life is ever guarenteed. Especially the sex of a child.
I find myself thinking of Cara and getting so angry, but then realizing that she will forever be gone and that nothing will bring her home in my arms so being angry anymore is pointless. It has almost been two years...Nonetheless I hope one day to bring home another baby. Boy...or girl.
6 comments:
I was just thinking this same thought and then opened my Google reader to find this post!
I have a heart for boys, but would obviously be thankful for ANY children. I think that since my firstborn was a boy and we own all boy items and my heart secretly always imagined being a mom to boys, I just can't let that dream die.
But, I know that I should be thankful (and will!) for any baby I have in my future.
I've had lots of the same feelings lately. I'm struggling. Although I did not suffer a loss like you, our son was born @ 28 wks due to pre-e and the fact that I've been told I will surely have it again doesn't sit well with me. Its like the possibility of a sibling for B has been taken from me. :( Love your blog.
I had really wanted a girl when I was pregnant with Liam. Now all I can think about is how badly I want to have another little boy and wonder if I'll ever have another one. Like you said though I'll be happy just to bring home baby whether its a boy or girl.
You look STUNNING Laura! I hope you had an awesome time at your friends wedding! I hope one day to get married-Id so love to have you there! :))
Awe, Carter is 4 months? Wait will be be 5 months coming up!? AHH! Where has the time gone? I look at Sadie and by golly she will be 11 months in 2 weeks and then, then a YEAR OLD next month. HOW IN THE WORLD!? I am FREAKING out! I dont want her to grow up. :(I wish they can stay little forever yet I look forward to be able to do the mommy fun stuff with her later.
Oh Laura, I am so so sorry. I think sweet baby Cara will send a beautiful baby sister or brother to you all when the time is right, a healthy little one. It stinks we cant know or predict a gender but I know you will be happy with whichever happens. But I truely believe someday, you will have another girl. as you know I would LOVE to have another baby, just not any time soon, but id love to have a little boy. I never thought I could but as a nanny for a little boy i startted with him at 3 months and MY GOD HE WAS THE CUTEST LITTLE THING, he was such an AWESOME baby and he was a cute little kid, up until the time I had to leabe because of my emergency with having Naomi. But yes, I would love to have a boy (brother) for Sadie, or another sister too. I just know I want one more. I always told myself I wanted 2-3 kids. LOVE you Laura! xoxox
It makes me incredibly sad that Nahlos is becoming a big boy and that he is no longer a baby, so I understand how that makes you think of another little one!! I truly hope you will be blessed again in your future to have another baby!
I know exactly how you feel, that same sex baby that you lost is the one that you struggle with seeing here in life the most. One year later and I still have not held another baby girl, I just cant do it and previously I loved babies and couldnt wait to hold one, now I just want my own baby back to hold!
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