Help Remember

"If you know someone who has lost a child, and you're afraid to mention
them because you think you might make them sad by reminding them that
they died--you're not reminding them. They didn't forget they died. What
you're reminding them of is that you remembered that they lived, and
...that is a great gift." 

~ Elizabeth Edwards July 3, 1949 – December 7,
2010

 

I dont think anyone could have said this better. You are NEVER reminding us. We always, every minute of every day are reminded...and yet I would not even call it necessarily reminded...we chose to remember them every day.  If you bring up our child, it makes us happy, that people are choosing to help remember. If you bring up questions about how they passed, or how we/you felt...many dont realize it but its therapy for us to speak about our tragedy. 

Put it this way if a parent or spouse died...and no one talked about it or them...how would that make you feel? I bet a little crazy huh? Thats why there is this whole world of BLM's out there. We all help each other. I have 144 followers on my blog. I know not all may read every post or comment, but they dont have to. Just like I do not comment much but I pretty much follow everyone's story. Just to know that I am not alone, that others are going through the same emotions. 

Its the people that cants say or do things with us or for us because "its too hard" NO shit...try walking in my shoes. It sucks. 

I have really come to terms with it. Lets face it nothing (now) will change the fact she died, what is done can't be undone, so I have to work with what I have. Her memory lives on through the Preeclampsia foundation and the BLM community. I am at peace knowing that I may never get that chance to have a daughter. In my heart I have one forever, she is never going to grow up and hate me, never going to leave me and get married, she will always be right where I left her, and just as I remembered her. 

Just because I have come to terms with my loss, I seem happy and I am pregnant again, does not mean I forgot. No one else should either. Remember their stories, talk about them, or ask questions, it helps keep them alive within us.