I wish everyone would read this. The whole world. I dont even know where to begin. Here goes nothing.
There once was a time where I thought my life was perfect. Bad things just dont happen to people like me. I have all four grandparents. Never experienced a death in the family. I was petrified of death. I also am ashamed to say this, but I will because I am not afraid to, and I know that many people feel this way but would never admit it. People's misfortunes, sadness and heartache, never really effected me. Maybe its because I didnt share in it? Maybe it is because I was a oblivious, naive, young, inexperienced etc. Hearing of others sadness I would think about it for a moment and move on with my life. That stuff was just too sad and its not like it would happen to me anyways...Fast forward
I no longer have all four grandparents, and the first funeral I attended was my own daughters. So I am forever changed, and I am upset it took that much for me to realize that.
I am compassionate on all levels, and sometimes it still surprises me. What I put up with and what I do for others. Every single BLM I know I think about almost daily. Every story of loss I hear I am so very sad. Weather its a pet, a family member, a child, a old friend from high school. It all hits home. I have to reach out because now I know that reaching out means so very much.
I had a few very best friends in high school, needless to say we are not friends anymore. Just lost contact, of course there is face book, and email. They did not contact me, to tell me they were sorry...nothing. You know who did? People I have never ever met. My husbands friends from highschool who I have never met. Friends of friends, and people I merely "knew" in high school. That meant so much to me. People I would assume just don't care, really truly did. Warms my heart! Please think about that the next time you hear of someone that is going through a loss. Reach out to them, it could help them in ways you would not imagine.
I truly feel like there are a lot of people that are just like the old me. Why read a blog about sad things? Why read about anything sad? Even people in my life, people I know, people I am friends with. While you can't change the way one feels.I can honestly say every single person on this planet could really learn from someone who has gone through a life changing event. Weather its the loss of a child, a mother, or someone who has a child with special needs. Every single person who is going through something unimaginable can teach someone something. How to live and love. How to not fear death. Dont worry, its ineffective. Just because you loose your job, your car is totaled, or you got your purse stolen. That is nothing. Look around you.
There are some blogs that inspired me to write this post and I would like to share them with you.
Do you know what EB is? Its unimaginable...that is what it is. I read constantly about Tripp and am inspired by the patience love and understanding Courtnay has for her son. Read about Tripp here
A mother that lost Twins due to HELLP, then lost her Rainbow baby at 23 weeks. Courtney is pregnant again and yet still has Happiness and Hope in her heart. Now thats inspiration. Read about Courtneys Journey
Then there is Kristine mother to Cora, who died at 5 days old in her Mothers arms. She now saves lives. Find out how Cora saves lives!
These women are all inspiring and we could all learn a thing or two from how they bounced back from the depths, what they are doing to hold on to hope.
What should you know about "us"? Yes our lives have ultimate sadness, but you can learn from our sadness and how we made it bearable, how it forever changed "us"
Friday, February 4, 2011
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13 comments:
*tears* so many loving and understanding *tears*
Laura, you are one of these amazing women also! you have inspired so many of us! I was once like you, the old you....then I lost Rosie, and now I dont know how to describe it, I FEEL so much more....i take things soooooo personally.....other's losses, misfortune, etc. It has opened my eyes to the strength that people can have (like courtney and courtnay and cora's mom!) it is amazing how resilient he human mind can be! how strong we can be!
HUGS!!
I agree with you that a lot of people feel sad for someone when they lose a loved one but don't ever really to stop to think about what or how that loss impacts that person. I use to be one of those people that didn't & wouldn't let it impact me either. That all changed when my very dear friend lost her baby boy. That is why when I heard that you lost your precious Cara I had to reach out! Since then I have met (directly or indirectly) a few more woman who have also suffered a loss. Who would have known that I myself would experience loss months after reconnecting with you & meeting these other brave woman. You all helped me heal and let me express myself & I knew you genuinely cared. You too are a very strong brave person who has helped me and others understand loss better and to know how & what to say to those who are going through a rough time. Bravo to you for having the courage to be open & honest about your feelings! I know that I read a lot of blogs to help me better understand and be compassionate to others in trying times. Thank you for introducing me to some of these women & their stories
Oh so gorgeous. I <3 you!
Laura,
Being a BLM...I so know where you're coming from. We lost our daugher Abby In Dec 2009.
Everyday is a struggle...Everyday I ask why. You are so incredible. My heart goes out to you. Much love, CarrieAnn.
It is our adversities that make us the beautiful people we are. Thank-you for writing this post..it is beautiful. As for those people from highschool... after Kheri died, I purged my facebook account of all the people I went to highschool with who didn't respond in one way or another to her death. While purging the list, I realized that these people didn't give to shits about me in highschool...so why should I care now? It was rather liberating, and I don't miss seeing their happy, narrowminded updates one bit.
I have too lost friends, people who I feel uncomfortable around, or who seem uncomfortable around me. These people have not really experienced death. Us baby-lost mom's have been so close to death it tends to scare people. You can't be any closer to death than when you carry it within you, then "deliver" it from your body, and hold it in your arms.
This is beautiful, Laura. Thank you for writing something that I wish all could read and see. I absolutely agree with you about realizing what's important in life and reaching out to those in need, no matter what the circumstances are. I know how compassionate I have become since my journey started. I think about you often...take care. ((hugs))
I read this blog entry with my head nodding as I can relate to so much of what you have said, losing our baby girl at 21weeks due to an infection, and since then losing friends and everything in life is so very different. Thank you for our courage to share your story and for helping me to relate to you and see your life as it is along with the strength, heartache, pain, fear and determination.
I can totally relate to this post. I didn't have someone close to me pass away. My little Jeremiah was the first. Before he passed away I felt the same way about death. Now it's a whole new story....what a way to get a jolt of reality!
On another note...so happy all is going well and you've been given a date!!
Hello, I've been following your blog for a little while. I found you from Angela's Blog (Charlotte's Mommy).
I have not been in your shoes, but I relate to this so much. My life had its share of up and downs but I wasn't somebody who really bad things happen to. Teenagers that got sick were people I only heard about on the news, I could never be one of them.
I'm so much more aware of the world, of the impact that what may seem to me the smallest of tragedies may have on someone's life. And above all, the importance of reaching out to those who have experience tragedy..and keeping your hand extended.
Hello my name is Felicia,
I am 20 years old and lost my first child seven months ago. It all started with Preeclampsia.You can find & read my story @ http://www.facesofloss.com and follow me in my journey @ tanaleedavis.blogspot.com
I was directed to your blog because you too have dealt with preeclampsia. I have so many fears of that disease but I still want to try for another. Your blog gives me hope seeing that you are in the thirties. I only made it to 25 weeks with my daughter. I hope you don't mind me following your story, I appreciate your post here about learning to care about others and finding common ground with others around you. thank you for this post, I hope it touches other like it did myself.
~Felicia
I have had some of these same thoughts so Im happy im not alone in it. As much as I hate that it has taken becoming an Angel Mommy to know who my true friends are it has and I as well have lost contact with people I never thought I would, people I thoguht would really be a support for me.
{HUGS} what would we do without this Angel Mommy blog support that we have all formed.
Jamilyn
www.2angelsandamiracle.blogspot.com
What a great post! I realize these feelings more and more each day. I don't think you didn't care about those people or their situations, you just didn't know how it felt to be in that situation. Life becomes more valuable through your eyes when something like this happens. You realize that if one of the most tragic things that can happen in life, happens to you then anything can happen to you. You realize the important things in life aren't things, they are the people you love and that love you. You learn the value of those relationships in other peoples' lives too. It's all part of this life. Thinking of you and your journey through this life <3
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