REMINDER

This is from a website called 'Now I lay me down to sleep" I found this and believe this is helpful... I highlighted some areas that I have experienced.

"The list below has been compiled from the hearts of the bereaved parents of Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep. Here are some thoughts and ideas of what to say and/or do for a grieving parent and family...

Please don't tell me you know how I feel, because you don't, unless you too, have also experienced the death of a child. And if you have, please share your story with me, and be patient as I share mine. ~ Cheryl Haggard, Maddux's mommy


The most helpful thing people said to my wife and me during that time was, "You're in our prayers." Knowing that we were in the hearts and prayers of friends, family, and even strangers, was one of the few comforts we felt. ~Damon Fecitt, Aidan's daddy


Please don't avoid us. I know it's hard to know the right words to say to me right now. But, just being there for me so I can cry on your shoulder, means more to me than you'll ever know.


Please let us know that the death of our baby affected you, also.
Please let me share my story with you. Over and over again if necessary. Sometimes, I need to keep going over the details until they seem real.


Please remember our baby on her birthday. Mark the birthdate of the baby on your calendar so you can send a note or call. I have found that when friends call and say, "I thought of Marah today." it makes me smile. Just to hear the name of my baby or to see it in print gave me some comfort. ~ Deb Stoner, Marah's mommy


Please do not tell me that my baby is in a better place, how could anywhere be better than in my arms.~ Estrella Estrada, Anthony's mommy


It always seems awkward when someone asks how many children I have and you're not sure if you should say the living number or include those who have passed. Sometimes it is just easier to say the living number to avoid the awkward look or questions. But, then I wonder, who is it really easier for? It's definitely not easier on me and why should I make someone else's life "easier" when I am going through so much pain? ~Tina Denzer, Isaiah's mommy


As much as you may want to comfort a family member or friend and make the tears stop, unfortunately there is nothing that can be said or done. Just being there for us, and letting us know you are thinking about us, not wanting to run away when we shed our tears truly means a lot. This is a difficult task to ask of you, but it also lets us know that you care. ~ Tammy Becker, Chase's mommy


Although most people have nothing but the best of intentions, some comments do hurt. Please remember our loss, and speak words that do not sting. Our parents have graciously compiled a list of insensitive comments so you may have a better understanding:


I wish that people would not say to bereaved parents "You are young, you can still have more children." How do they know that? Some may be unable to have more, their babies death may have been caused by something genetic, or the parents may have spent years and years and thousands of dollars to conceive this baby....No matter the reason or even if we are able to have more children....understand that no child will EVER replace the one I lost...~Lindzy Foster, Kadence's mommy

"Get over it...you can't bring him back!" These words cut deep into my heart...~ Estrella Estrada, Anthony's mommy

Please know that on the NILMDTS Parent and Family Forum our parents speak out and openly about their experiences with the death of their child. What has helped them, and what has not. Theirs are stories of great love, great loss and great strength. Please take a moment to browse through these pages. It is through our education that we gain knowledge."