I hate every holiday. I used to LOVE Halloween and Thanksgiving. Yah no.
Halloween I hate because it reminds me that I still had Cara, she was still safe in my belly. Thanksgiving...dont even get me started, I was still doped up on all medications and it was really all a blur. It was a few days after I was released from the hospital...for the SECOND time. Yah no thanks to thanksgiving.
Christmas well that was not too bad because Cara was not even supposed to be born yet. SO I GUESS I can let that one slide.
Easter. Oh thats right...today is Easter. I kind of let holidays creep up on me and I dont nearly pay attention to them anymore like I once did. I did not even get anyone a "Hoppy" Easter card. Holidays are just not important. Today is hard because Cara is supposed to be here. She is supposed to be 3 months old. She was supposed to be baptized, and she was supposed to just be here. Shes not. Oh yah not to mention whats next...Mother Day! Yay....
You know what would make me happy, if people would wish my Daughter Happy Easter, or Merry Christmas. Send her a card in the mail to me, just remember her. I know some people do, like all my angel Mommy friends, but a lot done, like my friends that are close to me. I know I can't expect people to do those things. It just would be nice. I sure hope when her birthday rolls around that she will get some cards...
Its still so surreal, to know that I am a mother of a child that is not here on earth. WTF!? Is this serious? I was ALWAYS that person that said oh that could never happen to me...well it did.
Ok so on to the second part of why I am posting. I am not the strongest person you know. Really I am not. I guess it bugs me when some will say "your just so strong, I dont know how I could have ever done it" Ok but you never know what you can or can't do until sometime happens. You get through it...you just do. Its just weird to hear people say that they couldnt do it. You learn. You learn to breathe again, how to live again and how to just be again.
Hoppy Easter Nolan, Jett, Eli, Cora, Vincent, Chase, Emma, Janessa, Kasey, Jenna, Brenna, Naomi, and all other Angel babies up in heaven!
Sunday, April 4, 2010
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I know what you mean. Shortly after I got out of the hospital we got tons of cards and visits from people and not even a month after we had the boys it all stopped. Holiday were especially hard because family and friends a like (minus my angel mommy friends) did not acknowledge the boys in cards or anything. It hurt me so incredibly bad. I did have people who did acknowledge me on Mother's day last year so that was very touching.
I will be thinking of your precious Cara and all our angel babies today.
*hugs*
I couldn't have said it better myself! Holidays, blah... people telling me I'm strong, double blah! I wish people remembered our babies like we do too. Thinking of you today. (((HUGS)))
I definitely know what you mean. I hate the holidays now. We usually do stuff with my extended family on Easter but this year, I just was not up for it.
Happy Easter angel babies!
Awwwww, you wished Nolan a Hoppy Easter. So sweet. Happy Easter Cara!
I know our babies are up there having an easter egg hunt with the star Jesus himself.
I have never really been into all the holidays anyway but now i hate them it shouldnt be like this, we should have our babies here celebrating the holidays. I didnt recieve any cards or anything after the boys were born so now i dont expect anything from anyone even on their birthday i didnt get any cards for them from my friends of family (except other BLM's)
When anyone ever tells me that i am so strong and that they know that they wouldnt be able to cope with it i always say that i just do what i have to do, i dont chose to be strong i dont actually have a choice all i can do is keep going, it isnt being strong, and like you said you never really know how you would react to something until it happens.
Happy Easter Cara,my babies (Hunter,Heather,and Emily) and all the other sweet heavenly babies.
Sometimes when I visit Emily's grave, I'll put stuff on other little one's graves too,even though I don't know the families.If I die, or some other reason I can't visit her grave I just would like someone to do it for Emily so why not do it for other's,right?
Anyways Happy Easter (HUGS)))
We found out we were pregnant on Easter. Today has been a nightmare. Happy birthday Cara and family!
*hugs* I just posted about strength today....I got a comment from my sis in law pretty much the same way. *hugs* to you and Happy belated Easter to Cara.
I also hate it when people say "you are so strong" it drives me crazy. I am not strong, I didn't sign up for this.
The holidays are really hard for me too. Easter was harder because last year Sami was already in my belly (sigh).
I hate that people just stop remembering our angel's in a way. It makes me sad and I try not to be so resentful but there are days that I can't help it. I always think of you and Cara. ((HUGS))
Oh thank you for thinking of Kasey! Yeah it gets old when people say that. We have NO choice, but to pick ourselves up and go through the motions everyday!
Thinking of you!
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