Hi I am Laura & I bring bad news...

So seriously...I always feel like I bring bad news to wherever I go. People say "How are you doing?" here are my respondses with where all the bad stuff started to begin

 *My husband had his arms set fire 2 weeks before our wedding  (October08)

 *My husband totaled his car (June 09)

*My sweet Gia was Attacked (June 09)

*My daughter was born still and I was very Ill (Nov 09)

*My sweet Charlie had Major back surgery one week after Cara passed (Nov 09)

* My sweet Charlie crossed over to Rainbow Bridge (March 10)

*My Grandma is very Ill (I have pics but will not even post them. She is down to 80 lbs) (March 10)
*My Grandma is going into hospice (This week)
*Family personal issues (This week)
*Im still trying to figure out how I am with my health

Those have been my responses lately. Today I also found out that something is going on with my Mom. Its personal, and I can't really talk about it, but its killing me not to. It has nothing to do with her health at all so no worries there.

Im just so sorry to people for being such a downer. I dont want people to EVER think I need attention, or am crying for help. My only outlet for my pain and things I have been through and are going through is to talk or blog. So to anyone who will listen to bad news Laura over here thank you so much!

As you can see its just one thing after the other, and as soon as I start to heal emotionally...another pile comes crashing down on me. Please dont get my wrong, I am so thankful for the best husband anyone could ever ask for and for my family. Im thankful that I bounced back from Severe PE and HELLP. Im thankful im here. I try to be positive, but I am not unrealistic. Unfortunately I know all too well far to many things that can happen in life that hopefully no one I directly know ever has to go through. So honestly I need to be realistic. So please dont say "Oh think positive" Did you not think I was thinking positive when they were checking for my little girl's heart beat...when I heard my platelets, kidneys and livers were declining? Or how about when there were seizure pads on my bed at the hospital? Or when Charlie had his back surgery? Im trying to be positive...I was positive...but reality soon sets in.

I have started to share (like actually talk to people) only in depth pieces of my life with the people who I know won't have pity on me, who wont feel sorry for me, or think im exaggerating these situations. I dont need that. I just need people to listen. So I share things with the ones who do.

So many people really dont know what listening is about. Its not about feeling sorry for someone or saying "oh yah that happened to me to" or "oh youll be fine" I dont need that and I dont need your selfishness. I just need your ear not your words.

Trust me I so wish I had tons of good news to share with everyone, but its just not going that way for me. If your a friend you will understand that and just listen and be my friend through all of this. If your not...well life goes on dosnt it?  Maybe some day I can say "My life is fantastic, its ponies and rainbows and butterflies and ice cream sundaes" For now its not. That does not mean next year I wont win the lottery and have triplets with no Preeclampsia...but for now im Laura & I bring bad news.