6 months ago today my daughter Cara was silently born into this world. I never thought I would be here writing this after 6 months. It seems like just yesterday I was walking into the L&D at the hospital. Most the time my thoughts now are that I can't believe I was even actually pregnant, I can't believe I had a daughter that died, It all seems like a dream. I can't believe the death of my child is now what defines me.
The first month was agony, every day I woke up I counted down the hours that I could go to sleep again, thats all I wanted to do. Things are way different now. I will never say better, because my life has forever changed, it will be different but never better. I will forever wonder what she would have looked like.
Happy 6 Months Cara
Monday, May 17, 2010
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11 comments:
Happy 6 months. Sending much love!!
My heart feels for you.It goes out to you, your husband as well. This is nothing I'd wish upon anyone.
Take care of yourslef.
CarrieAnn.
Happy 6 months Cara! Laura, I hope that your Grandma is giving her a big birthday hug and Charlie is giving her a big kiss! :) 6 months...I too also feel like this is some horrible nightmare I can't wake up from. I hate that this is how life is now. Thinking of you and sending huge hugs! XO
Holding you close to my heart today dear friend.
*hugs*
Oh sweety, I am so sorry. I know how much these days pain your heart. It is like a bad dream that you can't wake from. I wish none of us had this to define us. I am glad that you have been able to cope a little better, I hope that this blog has helped you on this journey. Big extra ((HUGS)) today.
((hugs))
I've been away for a week, but I kept up with what was going on with you. Thinking of you and your little Cara today.
Sending you big hugs.
Love to you and your sweet girl on her half birthday.
xo
Big Hugs (a day late..)! I know what you mean. Now that I'm back to work, the death and birth of my daughter seems to be getting farther and farther away. However, it also defines me right now. I am a dead baby momma, My co-workers won't say it, but I will, which seems to ease the tension, and they realize that I am somewhat mentally sound :P I seem to be paraniod right now that everyone will forget...then a few years from now they will say "oh, yeah...you had a baby that died right?"
I'm sure she and your grandma are playing with Charlie, and watching you and your husband. <3
So sorry that I missed Cara's anniversary. Glad that you are doing okay and finding some peace in the things that you are doing. I thing that it definitely helps the grieving and healing process to feel productive or feel that you are contributing to 'the cause' in some way. We have found that working with/through our hospital's bereavement program has been pretty therapeutic. Hugs to you, Miss Cara (and Charlie, of course).
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