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Friday, February 18, 2011

Question everyone wants to know

Why are they inducing you if you have no signs of Preeclampsia?

Ok well ill do my best to explain this and not offend anyone because I KNOW everyone means well.

First off when you have lost a child in the way that the child dies inside of you because your body fails, the only thing in the world you want is a live child. If the child is not healthy, or needs time in the NICU of course it is not ideal, but you still will have a living child. That is what goes through most BLM's. We have goals "If I can just make it to 30, 32 weeks ill be ok" while most people go beyond 40. I would MUCH rather have a child in the NICU than no child at all.

Second, 37 weeks in considered full term, providing lung maturity (which is why I am set up for an amnio) Just because you go to 38 or 40 weeks, does not mean baby will be fine. There is never a guarantee. My girlfriend delivered at 38 weeks and baby spent two weeks in NICU, another baby was born at term who had difficulties breathing. On the other hand another good friend delivered at 34 weeks no NICU time and baby went home. It all depends.

Third Preeclampsia and Hellp are very dangerous. Many mothers lose their lives. Many babies do as well. I not only got Preeclampsia and Hellp when pregnant I was hospitalized after delivery as well sicker than when I was pregnant, with failing liver and kidneys and blood pressures in stroke and seziure range. We do not want me to go there again, so why chance it.

Last, mental reassurance. I dont know when Cara died inside of me. Every time Carter moves I thank god he is still alive. That is just how I cope. I have been coping that way since 20 weeks and replaying worst case scenarios in my head since July. Its exhausting, worrying about your baby dying, worrying about losing your own life, especially when it is for 9 months.

11 comments:

The Mac's House said...

You are right on all those points.

When my own daughter had PE and HELLP she was much sicker for weeks after delivery. She was shutting down her liver/kidneys as well as having clotting issues. I don't think that anyone can realize just how incredibly scary this is unless you have either had it or watched someone go thru it.

I will be saying prayers for you for a happy, healthy delivery.

:)
Teri

Tarsh said...

I wish you all the very best, you follow your heart and you hope for the best, thats all you can do, beautiful photos and thanks for sharing your courageous and heart wrenching journey. I lost a baby at 21weeks due to an infection and huge abnormalities with organs, something we will never get over but are learning to get through.

Elaine said...

I hope you're not getting too much judgement from people. You have to do what's best for YOU and YOUR baby. You are totally right about the milestones. I felt so much better after hitting 24 weeks and knowing that Caleb could possible survive.

Becky said...

I did not have Preclampsia and don't know too much about it but am so sorry for your loss. I do however understand your post about 9 months of worrying if your baby is going to be okay. That is my biggest fear right now on wanting to ever get pregnant again.

Danae said...

So well put. It's all different when you have experienced loss.

Abigail said...

I think it is completely your decision as well as Kyle's to make of when you feel that it is the right time to deliver Carter. You obviously have amazing doctors this time around that know all there is to know about your past, present, & future. No one else fits into this equation. I think that if I were in your shoes I would be delivering as soon as I knew it was safe to as well.

Rebecca said...

I delivered my son at 37 weeks 4.5 years ago. He was just as happy and healthy then as he is now. He was a bit small upon delivery (6 pounds ounces and 18 inches) but healthy as a horse and that was what mattered. Good luck Mama! :)

Supposed to be... "Mama G"... said...

Oh my goodness! I hear you on everything! Not that I have had to deal with Pre-E..but I know what you mean about worrying about it all happening again. As my anxiety builds, I just wait for every little kick and jab. The doctors have increased my appointments more for my reassurance than anything. What most people don't realize is that a stressed Mom, means a stressed baby. I'm being induced at 38 weeks (at the latest!!) because of the previous still birth factor alone.

I can't wait to hear of Carter's safe arrival :)

The Anglin Family said...

Big ((Hugs))!!!
I totally agree with everything you said.
I am praying for that sweet little babe you have inside of you!
I saw on FB where you posted that article about the mom in TN, that broke my heart. So sad. I wish people realized how serious preeclampsia actually is.
I will totally be thinking and praying for you in the next few weeks before you meet your sweet little boy!!

Sarah Davies said...

I think that you have to do what is right for you and your baby. I found that my second pregnancy after hellp was HORRIBLE. Constant anxiety about what may happen.
And you are right, full termers can end up in the Nicu and 34 weekers sometimes don't.
Thinking of you in this time before Carter's birth and all fingers are crossed that it all goes well.

Becky Baker said...

I couldn't agree with you more! Having been what we all have been through, good for you for making your decision! We would give anything to have our babies alive, and you are being a very good mom, doing what you think is best!
Am thinking bout ya!!