On a tuesday

Seriously...why does everything happen on a tuesday. I want to just OMIT tuesdays from my world in general. Cara left us on a tuesday and Charlie left us on a tuesday. I feel like EVERYTHING is being taken from me! AHHH. Im just like waiting to break down over here. I keep forgetting Charlie is no longer here.

I think this was my last straw I will be seeing a therapist now. Who knows if I go once or 18 times...everyone seems to think I need to see one, well now I think I do. I have a cardiologist apt on friday well im not going I need to give myself a few weeks to just calm down and not think about doctors and crap. Im over that at the moment. I kinda freaked out last night, in the mist of my crying I thought it would be a good idea to take my blood pressure...uh not such a good idea it was 124/91 (normal for me is like 100/70 or lower) So I am going to have anxiety for a while here so no more doc apts till I feel a bit better!

My Gram is in the hospital (Dads mom) and she is just trying to hold on right now and be strong, she is a strong women so I think she will pull through this, but thats a WHOLE other issue, I dont like to blog about "what if's" or blog much in fear that the problem may become worse, so thats why I did not mention Gram H. Keep her in your prayers.


SOoooooOooo ya I need to see someone. Especially after losing Charlie, thats was the ICING ON MY CAKE over here. The one thing that helped me the most get through Cara is gone. I ache for another puppy. I LOVE dogs...anyone who knows me knows that. DUHHH. So I am looking at adopting another chihuahua, could be tomorrow, could be in a week. But I am looking. Its spring, perfect time, and Gia is so sad and it has not even been 24 hours. Not to mention a puppy would just bring me a sliver of happiness right now, and thats all I need!