One year. Its been one year. So is that a time limit on my grief? I feel like she will be forgotten. Not by the BLM community or family, because they always remember... but by everyone who lives their normal happy lives. I am grateful, dont get me wrong. I am grateful I am here, grateful for a fantastic family and grateful for all of the people who helped me remember Cara. Friends I have not seen in years, friends who I have never met, people who lives I have touched.
I was surprise there were some who did not choose to remember Cara, or forgot...however you want to put it. I am not going to concentrate on that but concentrate on the people who did and the ones who did helped make my day a little brighter.
I just do not want to forget her. I know I will never, but I hope the world will never either. I will ALWAYS speak of her as my baby, I will ALWAYS share my and her story with pride. I have nothing to be ashamed of. I lived through the horror...in medical and mental ways. Cara does not deserve to be left in the dust. Why not talk about her? Because its uncomfortable for some? Well that sounds like a personal problem now dosnt it? Just sayin...
In my world there will never be a time line on grief. I will always wonder what she would have looked like, what she would have wanted to be when she grew up...she never will grow up. Cara always remains a tiny delicate person.
Now what? Im done planning for her, I just feel at a stand still.
Thursday, November 18, 2010
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8 comments:
I felt some of these same thoughts when Janessa's one year anniversary came around. I thought well maybe now people will think my one year limit is up & I should be better now. Will people be bothered when I still talk/post write about her now thats its been over a year? That has not been the case. What I can tell you is that I have healed some from then but I still talk about Janessa & I probably always will. Wish I could hug you in person.
I agree, there is no time limit on grief! I say take as much time as you need! My great aunt who lost a child 40 years ago says it still hurts as much today as it did then, just in a different way!
Cara woul be so proud that you share her story, and that you remember her! She's such a lucky little angel to have a mother like you! I believe God has great things in store for you! xoxo
I dont blame you. The fear of them being forgotten is the worst in the world!! You are amazing I know you will keep her memory alive!! Much love to you
That is my fear too and also feel that since it's been one year for me too that I am at a standstill. There is no limit on grief, we will grieve forever.
Cara will never be forgotten by me.
Laura, I've never met you in person, but I will never ever forget you or Cara...I know this for sure. I think about the babies that all of my PF friends have lost...often. I hurt for you all, often...I pray for you all, often...
I'm terrified that Claire will be forgotten, I'm even more terrified that as time passes I will lose hold on the memories I have of her too short life. Your blog is a beautiful memorial and a testament to life and will ensure that she will live on. For every person in your life that is not sensitive to the continuance of her memory, I hope you find some peace knowing that there are so many BLM, like myself, who DO remember her- even if they didn't know you at the time. She's more loved than forgotten for sure! :)
I know I have said before that there is no "expiration date" for dealing with loss...in my opinion! You have every right to talk about your beautiful Cara whenever you feel like it. She is a major part of your life and talking about her helps you heal and keep her memory alive as well as help so many others around you! I am sorry for those people who didn't remember or honor Cara, but they don't matter! Keep the ones that have and are supportive around to help you along the way!! Hugs to you always!
It definitely is their personal problem not yours. People will just have to be "uncomfortable" as they put it. Its not about them, its about you and Cara. And I agree with you, that there is no time limit, in my mom's country they wear black for a year and the community know why and treat you with respect and also every year they do a novena for 9 days (where they pray the rosary) the 9th day being on the anniversary of our loved one's death. No, there is no time limit to anyone's grief and NO ONE has the right to put one on someone.
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