Im just gonna say it. This sucks. Every time I get sick...nauseous, throwing up etc...any signs of Preeclampsia. I say "Is this it? Are they going to take my baby from me? Do I have preeclampsia again?" It sucks. Now that I am semi in the safe zone as far as survival rate for baby goes, I worry every day, what if I can't take him home? What if this never happens for me?
Yes I have been so positive, but every now and then I get frustrated. What the hell is wrong with me? Thats my latest frustration. All this fatigue, heartburn, throwing up, flu symptoms...ugh. Seriously. Then there is that fine line, do I go to the hospital? Do I wait? Baby was great today on NST but I still feel crappy. I can deal with Preeclampsia and getting sick, I just want Carter to be ok.
Right now I just want to know what is wrong with me. I want my labs to be ok. I want this horrible heartburn to go away. I can't eat a damn thing without it being horrible. Yes its a pregnancy symptom...but it is also a symptom of Preeclampsia or HELLP. Thats why I hate having it. Same with nausea, yes its a pregnancy symptom...but also PE and HELLP symptom.
Last time I was puking in pregnancy with Cara, she died, and I laid in a hospital bed sick as a dog for a week. Dont want to history to repeat it's self.
If it was Christmas I would say bah humbug
Thursday, January 27, 2011
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5 comments:
Even though I haven't gone through exactly what you did with Cara I think it is ABSOLUTELY normal to worry, panic, get frustrated, sad, mad, annoyed & whatever other emotion when you don't know what is happening that keeps causing you to get sick!!! Yes you are a very positive person, but even the most positive person has a bad day!! Give yourself a break, you are doing everything possible to get to the bottom of things to ensure you & Carter are well!!! You will get your results soon enough so TRY & hang in there sweetie!! Praying for these next several weeks to fly by so you can be home holding Carter!!! {{hugs}}
Awe Laura, I just wanna reach out and give you a big huge hug right now. I UNDERSTAND completely where you are coming from. I was always watching and waiting for symptoms to arrive but then I was like "oh its also a pregnancy symptom too" so I was just always not knowing what to do but if you are more concerned or start to feel worse, even after you get test results, go in to L&D. Like I was told when I showed up there feeling stupid, the nurse always told me "they are there to do their jobs, and without us they wouldnt have any". And that nurse told me whenever I feel in doubt or just want to hear her heartbeat, I can come right in. So please, if you continue to feel worse or just "off" go in and get checked out. I am praying for you and I feel it in my heart, he will be in your arms in those 5.5 weeks. I just am emotional day as it is and I feel like crying, I wanna make things all better for you! big hugs and just hang in there. Its so difficult, I know, I began to feel like you to. xoxox
PS. I did have a lot of "heartburn" if thats what it really was and alot of nausea, no throwing up tho but I felt like it. But everyone is different, youre the only one that knows your body. :) You are doing so well. Prayers are sent from FL! xo
It gets tiring after awhile being so incredibly positive. While it's good, some days you just can't do it all the time.
I continue to hold you close to my heart. I wish the road of pregnancy with a rainbow baby was so incredibly easy, we deserve it after all we've been through.
*hugs*
I will be praying for you Laura! I'm so sorry that you're feeling this way. I know it has to be hard to go through this and you're handling it like a trooper even when you don't feel like it. I'm praying God gives you peace about all of this.
Honestly, the main reason that it's a "symptom" of pre-e and HELLP is because some people confuse the upper right quadrant pain as heartburn when it's really something much worse, at least from what I could tell when I googled it to death a few weeks ago. I found nothing actually linking real true heartburn and pre-eclampsia. And you will definitely know the difference if it's not heartburn. But, I know, that's not really that reassuring in the moment. I hope the heartburn and nausea go away soon!
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